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Mortimer W. Clankybritches
Mortimer W. Clankybritches is the oldest living Customercon, which is no mean feat given their propensity to explode, catch fire, fall in pits of molten lava and so on. He expects that this gives him some sort of position of seniority or respect among their ranks. It does not. There are several problems with his logic. The first is that everything he does is painfully slow. Being stuck behind Mortimer W. Clankybritches means an eternity of waiting or slowly crawling forward while he proves to be a massive obstruction to whatever it is you are doing and wherever you are going. Be it driving along one of Hfil’s occasionally navigable freeways, waiting to board an Explode Raptor or standing in line to get a refund, Mortimer will hold it up to no end one way or another. It might be because he’s walking or driving slowly. It might be because he’s counting his Energon chips. Or it might just be because he’s talking the audio receptors off somebody who doesn’t care and wishes he would just shut up and go away. Which relates to the second problem; he doesn’t like anything and complains about everything. This isn’t like Cainosaur who wishes that specific things were like an imagined nostalgic version of whatever they are. Rather, Mortimer will find reason to complain about anything given the opportunity, and he finds opportunity everywhere. Whatever he takes umbrage at might be relevant, but frequently isn’t. He’d gladly complain for hours at his Team Leader about the music that protoforms listen to today in the middle of a raging firefight. And, of course, he has. Finally, Mortimer likes to talk down to everyone around him, and not just when he’s complaining. This is a habit that he’s held all his run-cycle that has only been accentuated with age. He feels that he is somehow the final authority on everything, even when he obviously isn’t, especially in fields that he actually knows nothing about. But because he’s older then you are, by his logic, you have to stop and listen to him. The final reason is, of course, because Customercons are stupid. But you already knew that. Capabilities Mortimer W. Clankybritches is one of if not the last example of the Lehmon body type. The predecessor to the Fillor, this body type is long obsolete and has not been produced in ages. However, Mortimer refuses any sort of upgrade or to do anything about it, insisting that if it was good enough for him in his prime, then its fine now. What this means is that he is very slow, prone to damage and breakdowns and in poor condition because you can only get spare parts from specialty workshops and he can’t afford that because the pension doesn’t go as far as it used to. In robot mode, he is armed with a varmint hunting beam rifle, which is good for getting turbo-squirrels and petro-rabbits off his lawn. Category:Characters Category:Decepticons Category:Males Category:Customercons Category:Bored Fish Era Category:Articles by Darthfish